Inspiring

Some of you may know that I have been struggling with my calling in the Primary Presidency. I keep telling myself that I am where I need to be and The Lord will put me where I am needed when I am needed. This last few months have been extra hard! I haven't had the greatest health and am trying to cut back where I can. I have had my calling doing on 4 years now and I think 'It's been long enough! I need to go to Relief Society.' A couple weeks ago I had had it with some of the kids and my sharing times aren't going as well as I feel they should. I got really frusterated and told Rafe that I had enough I needed to be released. Well the bishop has been busy and I have been putting off going to talk to them about my feelings. Then today I ran into this from one of my FAVORITE chruch blogs. I have no idea who Sofia is but to me she is an ispriation! she is so amazing! She plans a sharing time every week of every month (usually several ideas each week) and shares them with the blogging world. So thank you Sofia for all that you do! I feel good and I am going to keep on truckin!!!


www.sofiasprimaryideas.blogspot.com

Have I ever mentioned that Honest Abe is my favorite.
I mean really, he did it - He said, slavery is wrong, let's do this.
Let's end it and be a nation.
And yet, his courage and bravery and brilliance came in the face of much failure.
Our most successful president, faced defeat often. (Thank you google search)

•1831 - Lost his job
•1832 - Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
•1833 - Failed in business
•1834 - Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
•1835 - Sweetheart died
•1836 - Had nervous breakdown
•1838 - Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
•1843 - Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
•1846 - Elected to Congress (success)
•1848 - Lost re-nomination
•1849 - Rejected for land officer position
•1854 - Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
•1856 - Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
•1858 - Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
•1860 - Elected President (success)

And why would I bring this up. Especially right before Christmas, thank you happy happy joy joy. It's because on Sunday, I bit it hard. I had one of the worst sharing times ever.

Pause and rewind 8 years. BYU, I'm student teaching at a title one school with the urban education cohort.

Wait. I promise I'm not quite at dementia yet, rewind 20ish years ago when I'm in 6th grade. I have a reading buddy, Mary who is in 1st grade. She can't read. And yet with our time spent together she learns. Granted, was I the one who taught her, no. But I felt like I had. It was my first inkling that my purpose in life was to teach. I loved her joy as she learned a new word or could sound out a difficult word. It was so crystal clear to me, even then that teaching children would be for me.

OK. Back to the cougars. I'm student teaching and I have a boy who is bipolar, ADD, and prone to violence. And he disliked me. A couple lessons were rough and I always ended up in tears when I got home. It got to me and I vowed I would never have bad lessons again. I worked through it and ended up confident that one day I'd be a good teacher.

Fast forward to last Sunday. Chaos. 10 nursery kids coming in to see what primary is like, 1 eating the microphone on the pulpit. At least 3 children scattered throughout the room crying. 30 others were completely done with sitting. I have exactly 7 minutes to teach about the 2nd coming. We're doing pictures so children are in and out through the door.

Did I not pray?
Did I not spend time preparing?
What did I do wrong?

I tried to do too much with too little time. I tried to get too many children up and out of their seats. I was talking over the children/adults talking (who were only talking because they were trying to calm children) and trying to move on without everyone's attention. I was forgetting names.

BUT I'M OK WITH IT.
I feel so peaceful about it, is that weird and strange?
I know I can do better, I know I can learn from my mistakes, I know I am far from perfect and most importantly... I know God loves me.
I've learned it's OK to laugh at yourself everyone once and awhile.

President Monson of course says it much better, "Our responsibility is to rise from mediocrity to competence, from failure to achievement. Our task is to become our best selves. One of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final." (Thomas S. Monson, "Never Give Up", New Era, Sept. 1994)

Now is it OK to cry. Of course! Failure can be so annoying and frustrating!!!! Our prophet continues on and says, "We are success-oriented, striving to become “wonder women” and “super men.” Any hint of failure can cause panic, even despair."

But you know what, at least we're trying. At least we're there and doing our calling to the best of our ability.

"U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena” (The American Treasury: 1455–1955, ed. Clifton Fadiman, New York: Harper & Brothers, 1955, p. 689).

Unfortunately, too often we're our own worst critic.

The beautiful talk is ended with " Each of us is a runner in the race of life. Comforting is the fact that there are many runners. Reassuring is the knowledge that our eternal Scorekeeper is understanding. Challenging is the truth that each must run. But you and I do not run alone. That vast audience of family, friends, and leaders will cheer our courage, will applaud our determination as we rise from our stumblings and pursue our goal. Let us shed any thought of failure. Let us discard any habit that may hinder. Let us seek; let us obtain the prize prepared for all, even exaltation in the celestial kingdom of God."

So this post is for me and all my fellow sisters who have failed miserably. I'm cheering for us. We can do it, because God will help us! Next week will be awesome! Next week will be fabulouso!!!

We may not end up Presidents of a great nation, or freeing a noble people... but we are important. We are the instruments in the Lord's hands. We are His children who will help gather and usher in His glorious reign on earth. Life is good. Keep on truckin.

I love Fall

I absolutely LOVE Fall! We (mainly I) have always wanted our family pictures taken in the fall leaves and needless to say, it has never happened......until this year! (yeah)

My awesome Sister and Brother in law caught some great memories on camera and we love them! so watch out for a picture over load.

ha ha! I had to put this on in because my Brother in law pointed out Rafe's finger! Makes me laugh! But I really do love the picture!
almost the last picture taken.....and one of the only ones Kenna is smiling

We were doing everything we could to get Kenna to smile. Tried Peek-a-boo and still a straight face!

Adi was loving "posing" for the camera! (treats may or may not have been involved)

I am in love with seeing the "sisterly love"!

Thank You so much Morgan and Alison.

Check em out at www.dudleyphotos.blogspot.com

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I have been such a slacker. I am really bad at taking my photos from my camera and getting them onto the computer. Plus, I feel like my house is never clean enough to sit down at the computer for an hour and upload pictures and blog about them. So today I decided the house will wait until I get my blog updated. I have really been trying to spend time with my family more and not worry about how the house looks (and right now it looks like a tornado hit!) but, the blog is mostly up to date. I do have one more set of photos I would like to put up. Adison and I went to Grandma Rosie's one day and I hadn't done her hair or anything, we had just finished a bike ride and we decided to do a photo shoot. Given the situation I think the pictures turned out really well. I am no professional but I decided I am getting a little better. I tried to go through my pictures and pick just a few so it's not too bad of a photo overload....I hope.

Dance like no one is watching!!

Adison's dance recital was on May 29th. It was bitter sweet for me because we decided not to put her back into dance for the summer and she will start preschool in the fall. I am undecided if we will put her into a ballet class in the fall or not. I need to check around and see if there is one that will take a 4 yr old and how much it costs. Adison LOVES to dance!!! She made a lot of progress in the two years that we had her in dance. The first pictures are the dance recital. I didn't get too many good ones because my batteries in the camera died. Thank goodness my mom had her camera too so I took some pictures after the recital in her tutu and they turned out cute. She can be such a model when she wants to be!! One of the last days at dance I took the camera along and got some picutes of her tumbling and practicing "put a ring on it." The chipmunk version of Single Ladies. It was my favorite dance this year. Kenna still dances and sings the tune to that one. I am so grateful that we were able to let Adison dance! She is such a great dancer. I love you princess!

Bath Time

The way the world is now I have been terrified to take pictures of my girls in the bath tub. I have some of Adison but, have never taken any of Kenna. A little while ago I decided it was time to take some pictures and I think they turned out way cute. I feel they are appropriate since you can't see any "parts." The girls were so cute we just got them their own loufas and they LOVE them!!! Kenna has learned to say "tickle, tickle" although it sounds like "Kickle, Kickle" because everytime I was her feet it with the loufa it tickles. I am loving bath time!!

2010 Family Getaway

Back in February we decided to getaway from Vernal and head out to Salt Lake. We has so much fun and spent our fair share of money! :) We took the kids to the Gateway Museum, Build-a-bear, shopping, swimming,and last of all the Jazz Game. We had so much fun just being together and enjoying our family away from all the stresses of life. Here are some pictures that I got during our outing.

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Photos

I was at my moms playing on her computer and came across some old pictures of the girls from last summer. I thought it might be fun to post them since I haven't been able to post much lately. I hate how they are backwards but oh well. These are when Kenna was just learning how to crawl. Me and Adi went to a fun activity at the library and they made bandana hats and tons of different stuff. One of the pics is my mom with most of her grandkids taken on the mountain (hence the not looking so great for everyone- we had tons and tons of rain!) The last few of Adison are during a fish pond at my family reunion. Oh and Meika and Annika too. She will love me when she sees those pics! I didnt realize they were the bad ones (Annika is crying and Meika has a funny face) I tried to delete them really I did but, I cant figure it out. Hope you enjoy the old pictures I know I enjoyed the memories!

I think it's time

I have decided it is time to go Private. I have recently discovered that people who I may not want checking out my family are "stalking" me. So if you would like to continue to read the happenings in the Dudley Family please leave me your email address so I can add you. Thanks to all those who have been and are great friends. I really appreciate all you do for me!

I Need Advice

I have been thinking. Rafe says we are done with having kids. I am back and forth. Somedays I wonder if there is one more (hopefully a boy?) I feel way to young to make the decision. But, I have tons and tons of clothes!!! What to do? I could go through them and get rid of some and keep some. I really am attatched to a few of them, they are way too cute. Or do I keep all of them and store them for however many more years? Or do I get rid of all of them?

Help! What have you done?

I am keeping my crib and all the big stuff for sure!!

I Heart Computers!

We got our computer/internet working again!! Yeah I was so excited. I was able to get on facebook a little and search online for a few things. Adison played a bunch of Playhouse Disney, we were loving it! BUT before I could sit down and download all my pictures and update my blog we got a stupid virus. Now we have to take it in and get it "de bugged" or whatever it's called. I would like to blam this on my 4 year old, can I do that?? It's really probably my fault for letting her on the computer without me in the room. Everytime I would go to check on her she would have tons of different screens up. Somehow she always had up My Computer and some Anti Virus thing that wanted us to download something. So, as of now we have to wait LONGER for the photo overload. It's killing me!! I have so much I want to put up. I feel like my blog is so boring. Sorry all.

On a happy note! We are getting a shed! I am super super excited. Rafe and his brother are going to build it this weekend. I just may have one more room to think about next week. If I can get everything organized in totes to go out to the shed.

Hooray for Spring!!

Withdrawl!!

We are going through withdrawls at our house.....................I NEED the Internet!! I have recently converted to online bill pay and it sucks having to load up all my bills and take them somewhere else (usually my in-laws) and use someone elses computer!

We have decided to turn our internet back on!!!! Yeah! So I will be having a picture overload coming up SOON!

Life with a One-Year Old

Kenna had her first birthday on December 18, 09. I have been slacking on posting about her because I really wanted to put pictures of her birthday but I decided I don't want to wait any more.

Here are the things that my beautiful one-year old loves to do.....

1. DANCE! Anytime any kind of music comes on (expecially commercials) she will stop whatever she is doing and go over to the TV and Dance! We got a really funny video just the other day.

2. Brush her teeth! 11 teeth and counting. her most recent teething experience was 5 at one time. Wow that was fun! She will climb to find her toothbrush at all hours and just brush and brush.

3. Play with Dan. She has always loved to play with Dan (our pug) but recently she loves him even more. She will stand and say "mere, mere" and hold out her hands until he comes to her. It's the cutest thing.

4. Eat! She will eat anything. What a change from her sister. Kenna is a veggie kid. She will always eat the veggies first. The other day she ate a huge piece of a red pepper. I thought she would spit it out but, no she went back for seconds!

5. Talk! It has been almost two weeks since she got tubes in her ears and boy does she talk! I love to listen to all the new words she knows. The newest is "beep"

6. Clap! Clapping is the greatest thing. Anytime anything happens she just smiles and claps.

7. Summer Saults! Adison is always doing summer saults around the house. One day Kenna decided she wanted to try. She just tucks her little head down as much as she can and sits there. Once someone notices her we will got and help "push" her over. I love it!

8. Walk/Run on the kitchen table. One of her favorite spots is the kitchen table. She is such a climber. As soon as she knows someone is coming to get her down she runs to the other side of the table.

9. Pushing chairs. We have the big kitchen chairs at the table and she will get behind them and push them all over the kitchen. It is so cute she is barely tall enough to see where she is going.

10. Play! She loves to play. She loves her big sister and wants to do whatever Adi is doing. She loves babies and barbies and most recently a rocking horse that makes music when it moves. She loves balloons and Grandma Rosies new puppy. She loves bath time and water. She loves to help unload the dishwasher. She loves peek-a-boo. She loves everything!

I am so grateful for my little bundle of joy. I don't know what we would do with out her. She makes me smile everyday. Even when she just wants DAD!

I love you Kenna
Love, Mom

Disapointment

After much consideration Rafe and I have decided to disconnect our home phone which includes the internet. I am releaved yet very disappointed. As I think about it do we really NEED it? (We had a talk in sacrament about living with in our means; it was great! It got me thinking) As I sit at home and use the internet on my cell phone (which we pay a butt load for!) I think we don't really use the internet at home that often. So, we disconnected it. It has been one week and I feel like I am going crazy. I think it's the philosophy of you don't miss it until you don't have it. I have wanted to get some pictures developed and I am not used to having to take them into the store since I have discovered ordering them online; which is fantastic!!! Then there is checking my email. I don't normally check it that often but, lately we have been doing alot of email for primary things and so I need to check it more. I could do that on my phone but, it sucks! Emailing is not easy on a phone!

My biggest complaint now is that I did not get Kenna's birthday picures put up on my blog so, now I have to go to my mom's and download my pictures onto her computer to put any pictures up. So, it will probably be a while until you will get to see how big my little girl actually is.

On the up side of all of this. I will have one less bill to worry about!! Yeah! I can not explain the relief this has given me. I am terrible about paying bills and all day long everyday I worry about if we have enough money to go around.

If you can just be patient with me I will try to keep up on posting (which I can do at work or when I borrow a computer from somewhere) but, there definately will not be much for pictures of my family. *darn it*

I'm Sorry, You are NOT the Biggest Loser!

Not to much surprise I am not the Biggest Loser. I did surprise myself and lost 9 pounds in 8 weeks. Which in my opinion is not too shabby. I did have some tough competition (aka...my sister) she was able to lose 15 pounds and looks great! I was so happy to see her win although it was hard to give up my hard earned money.

Even though the "contest" is over I am still working on losing weight and being a healthier person. I look forward to the coming year and hope that I can change all those bad eating habits. My biggest weakness is sweats so, if you would be so kind not to try and tempt me with all your wonderful baking and treats that would be awesome. I believe I would have lost more weight in the challenge but, my wonderful mom-in-law gave me a HUGE container of chocolate covered raisins for Christmas. I have eaten way too many of them.

Thanks everyone for the love and support you have given me.